To My Ten-Year-Old Self…

I want you to know that I see you

I am you

I want you to know that I feel you

You are part of me

I see you

Please put down the blade

God hasn’t given up on you

He doesn’t hate you

You will not feel alone forever

Your dad won’t always beat you

You will find someone who loves you

But that won’t matter as much as the fact that you will one day love yourself

I see you

Your fire

Your desire

You’re tired

Stop bleeding

I need you

We need you

The world needs you

It sees you



Today, it’s 11 years from your day

You’re going to be tired at 21

But happy

About the choices you’ve made

Of the person you became

Of the fact that despite all the suffering

You overcame

You will be grateful you put down the blade

I can’t promise the years in between won’t hurt

You will see things

Feel things

Have things done to your heart and your body that are unimaginable

I will feel it

All of it

With you

You will find the strength to have compassion for the people who destroy you

Heal from being destroyed

You will grow

The process may repeat many times

Because pain wasn’t meant to visit you only once


I will be there

I will hold you

And one day you will be here

With me

And you will love yourself

As much as I have fought to love you

And you will see me

As I have seen you

And we will be proud of each other


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